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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The Great Weight Debate

I spent the day with a group of intelligent, articulate, educated women who work hard as teachers and spent their summers doing lots of interesting things.  And do you know what they talked about?  Diets and exercise.  So, here's my rant of the day: 

I don't care what you eat.  I don't care if you ate a whole sleeve of Oreos for breakfast this morning, or if you baked a gluten, dairy-free, organic muffin.  I don't care if you're vegetarian, or vegan, or if you're trying to break a world record for eating the most bacon.  I don't care if you're going Paleo, or if you've been on Weight Watchers for 5 years.  I don't want to know how many points are in the sandwich you brought for lunch, or if you made a beet and spinach smoothie instead.  If you like what you're eating, if it works for you, keep on eating it.   

I also don't care about your exercise plan.  I don't care if you walked 5 miles, did Zumba 10 times last week, or achieved a new CrossFit goal.  I don't care if you've run 12 marathons this year, or if you sat on the couch all weekend watching chick flicks.  Really, I don't.  If it makes you happy, if you're loving it, great - keep on doing it and have fun. 

I don't care how much you weigh.  I don't care if you lost 4 pounds last week, or if you weigh 50 pounds more than you did before giving birth.  If you're happy with your weight, great - I don't need to know what it is, because if I like you as a person, I don't give a damn what the package looks like.  If you're unhappy with your weight, talk to a doctor, or a nutritionist, and let them help you.  Because if I like you, I want you to get good advice from people who know what they're talking about to help you be the healthiest you want to be.

Here's why I don't care:  Because you're more interesting than that.  You probably have a hobby that I'd love to hear about.  Maybe you raise miniature horses, or go cave-diving, or knit sweaters for shelter dogs.  Or maybe you read a really great book lately, or saw an interesting play.  Maybe you connected with an old friend, or had a long talk with your grandfather.  I can practically guarantee that you did something far, far more interesting than having a nervous breakdown about eating ice cream with your family. 

The men I know don't do this.  They don't bemoan the fact that they ate a bag of chips while sitting on the couch watching 6 football games on Sunday.  They don't sit around in groups talking about how much they weigh, or the latest diet craze.  I know, for the most part, they care about their bodies and about taking care of them - but they aren't obsessed with it.  Maybe they're obsessed with cars, or movies, or sports or micro-brewed beer…and those are the things they talk about.  On Facebook, men don't post a whole lot of self-loathing things like, "I can't believe I went to Starbucks.  Gonna have to spend 2 days at the gym!"  Women do.  All the time.

My women friends have fascinating lives with lots of amazing stories to tell.  So tell them.  Share them.  Let's do lunch, and talk about everything except the food on our plates.  Let's have coffee (or green tea or hot chocolate or ice water) and watch our kids play tag on the playground.  Let's tell those stories about the that one time when we (insert embarrassing adventure) and laugh ourselves silly.  Let's do those things, instead.